Couldn't help it! Things have been going pretty well in the lead up to RNR Half. Legs are feeling pretty solid and the fractures now seem a thing of the past. I don't really think about them much when I run and the phantom pains have gone for the most part.
During my long run at the Disco this past weekend I was feeling like I had arrived at the next step in life. I put away all the self hate and loathing that I bottled up over the last 8-9 months and felt really free for the first time in such a long time.
Looking back over that time...
I heard or read a quote: Only bring the past if you can build on it.
I thought a lot about what that means to me during my run and came to this:
I survived, not always with my head up or clearest of mind, but I got through it. With the overwhelming support of friends and family. Slumping farther and farther into depression, sport and all the things that use to keep the light on and fires burning were just getting too hard to see on my own.
If anything it was the constant support of everyone, and the selfless friend's helping friends without hesitating that amazed me. Over and over again...
So after months of being somewhere else, and feeling like someone else, I feel that a new chapter has started and is fully underway. Running, after the injury, has a different feel to it mentally. I don't feel like I have the limiters that I had even last year as far as what I think I'm able to achieve. Last year was about endurance and reserve. This year is about speed, rest and fun. AND those other old familiar words...camping, hiking, vacation....
Only bring the past if you can build on it. In other words, Remember what you need to, but don't let it dictate your path.
Just a place to throw those random flashes of memory that happen after a race.